August 27, 2015 
John 
When I was a children’s book editor—even before I was married—people often asked if I had any children. After all, how could I understand what books kids might like to read if I didn’t have kids of my own?
It always struck me as an odd question–does a pediatrician or a teacher need to have kids to know how do her job? So I was very heartened to read Maile Meloy’s essay in the Times last weekend, and how she answered the question. In fact, her answer is so good that I have to print it in full:
“I write fiction, so I’ve written about many things I haven’t actually done. The novels would be very boring otherwise. But the thing I did do, for longer than anything else, was be a kid. Having had a childhood, I think my qualifications are pretty good.”
Amen! I only wish I was that pithy back when I was a childless editor–mostly I just fumbled out an answer or used the pediatrician/teacher analogy and got labeled as snarky…
To her credit, Meloy does allow that a parental perspective can be useful for a children’s book writer, particularly when it comes to parent characters (duh). And as a parent now myself, I appreciate how some writers (like Meloy’s brother) can write books for their own children that end up appealing to the general reading audience.
But I strongly agree with Meloy that tapping into one’s own childhood is most valuable for writing for children (that and reading widely in the field, of course). And I’d add that for writers who happen to be parents, keeping one’s own childhood in mind is a better strategy than observing your kids or, worse, using them as sounding boards. Kids are programmed from birth to tell parents what they want to hear, but if you can draw out the essence of your own childhood, you just might find the truth–and isn’t that what all writers strive to show?
As a children’s writer without kids, I heartily agree. Not only was I a kid for a long time, but I remember it vividly. Also, by not having kids, I never really had to grow up. I think my husband and I both have a lot of kid like attitudes and characteristics. He even dresses like a six year old (Chucks, jeans, t-shirt) most of the time.
Interestingly, one of my favourite writers of adult fiction recently had a novel published where one of the POVs was a teenager. It was the weakest part of an otherwise very good novel. And yeah, she has kids. So I think it’s more about being kid-like in your thinking, or at least remembering what it was like than anything else.
Agree that one doesn\’t have to have kids in order to write well for them. Like anything, though, it sure helps to have exposure and experience, though. I write adult fiction, but it sure helps to write the teens and kids in various scenes by not only remembering what it\’s like, but being around my own kids or my students at both elementary and high school settings.And as Joelle indicates – attitude is everything!
The 800 lb. gorilla in the room is what kind of agenda does the editor have when scanning material? The question often isn’t about whether kids would like this and spend money to read it, but something completely out in left field like “I hate my mom-this story has a strong mom figure, therefore it’s unacceptable” or something equally silly. Jessica kind of covered this a couple of weeks ago, so I’ll just say I spent the better part of 20 years at Borders in charge of the YA and MG sections and got to hear a lot of soccer mom (and kid) feedback. I’ll just say that talent often has rather little to do with what these people are expected to spend their money on, although one could honestly observe that any other genre is governed by the same bizzaro-world mechanics, and to some degree always has been. Interesting post nonetheless………..
Slight addendum to the foregoing; this post was based on a story told me on the Borders sales floor by a writer about 5 years ago who had just gotten an agency contract and a book sale-it was some sort of wacky family weekend at grandma\’s or something, and she had a rather humorless mom figure as a seriocomic foil for the goofy goings-on; the agent raved about it, the publishers bought it, and then they assigned an editor to it who had, shall we say, issues… At the point she met me her agent was trying to get someone else assigned to the project, it was a busy,busy, day, and I never saw her again or got to hear how it all came out. I suppose our point here is that it seemed to be a schoolyard fight between an over grown kid who had a great time in the sandbox when she was little and another one who wasn\’t allowed in the sandbox at all and wanted make sure no one else had fun there either. It was the weirdest editorial horror story I\’d ever heard, and of course I\’m totally on the side of the happy sandboxers……….
Occasionally being childless seems like a prerequisite – take a bow, Dr Zeuss, C. S. Lewis, L. Frank Baum, Beatrix Potter, Lewis Carroll, Louisa May Alcott, Eleanor Farejon, William Kotzwinkle, Patrick Ness, Maurice Sendak, & Eleanor Farejeon!
I think writing can be like teaching: sometimes the people who are best at it are those who aren’t parents. Maybe this is because:
– they aren’t hung up about being the Authority Who Must Always Be RIGHT
– they are more casual about little things that don’t matter
– they are not afraid to do things differently from what might be the Accepted Norm
– they often take the long-term view. That is, they realize that a child will be an adult one day, and write/teach with the idea that what a child reads should help him to be a GOOD adult.
You said: keeping one’s own childhood in mind is a better strategy than observing your kids or, worse, using them as sounding boards. Kids are programmed from birth to tell parents what they want to hear,
HAHAHAHAHA. Not my kids. They were very good sounding boards.