I’ve had pitching on the brain recently in all Its forms. On the baseball side, my son Henry has been obsessed with the fact that the Yankees’ closer Aroldis Chapman can throw over 100 MPH. And I’m dreading the fact that I have to pitch Saturday morning for my son’s little league team, having been a terrible pitcher all my life. Overhand, underhand, I just can’t seem to get the ball consistently over the plate…
But MUCH more relevantly, I ran a workshop at the SCBWI Northern California conference a couple of weeks ago on querying and pitching, and I found the results fascinating. After walking the attendees through the elements of a basic query letter, I asked them to take five minutes to put together an elevator pitch for their work. Immediately, hands went up to remind me that SCBWI does NOT allow unsolicited pitching at their conferences. To which I countered that writing a pitch is an important exercise for writers, because it helps to summarize one’s work and identify the key selling point of a story—plus, if anyone ever asks you what your book is about (which never happens, right?), you’ll have a clear answer ready to go.
So, once I convinced them it was a worthwhile exercise, I shared with them Thrillerfest’s “What if… so what?” method, which I highly recommend as a starting point. Basically, you want a pitch that’s 25 words or less that describes your book as a “what if” question so that it makes the listener respond with a “so what” question, i.e., so what happens next? And I shared a few kid-specific “What if” pitches that I thought would get most listeners to ask “so what?”:
- What if a cat with a silly hat causes mayhem trying to entertain two kids on a rainy day?—Dr. Seuss, 19 words
- What if an orphan discovers he’s a wizard and is sent to a secret school for witchcraft?—JK Rowling, 17 words
- What if a naughty boy sails away to where the wild things are?—Maurice Sendak, 13 words
- What if a teenager risks her soul to love a vampire boyfriend?—Stephanie Meyer, 12 words
After their five minutes were up, we went around the room sharing what they came up with, and I have to say, I was absolutely blown away—virtually every pitch made the books sound intriguing and well-developed. And for those that didn’t quite get it, they were able to revise on the spot and come up with something more effective.
Now, whether their manuscripts live up to their pitches is another question. But I will say that the queries I’ve received since the conference that lead with their pitches have certainly gotten my attention. So if I may, I highly recommend checking out the Thrillerfest formula and working out a pitch that sings—even if you never use it in public!
And if I can make a final pitch to you, wish me luck pitching on Saturday. Regrettably, I’m going to need it…

May 19, 2016
John
This ‘what if’ method has to be the best piece of advice I’ve ever read on how to construct a pitch. When you try it out, it actually reveals if your own idea for a pitch works or not! Thank you for this excellent post, and yes, good luck!
Your post helped me write a clear elevator pitch in just a few minutes. I’m embarrassed to say how long I struggled with it before reading your advice. Thank you! And good luck.
What a terrific technique! The agents at ABLA critiqued my query letter at the Big Sur at Cape Cod workshop last weekend and said it was perfect (I know, I fell out of my chair) but I think my skills at writing a pitch is nearly nonexistent so I’m definitely taking this advice. And am sharing with my critique groups!
Good luck with your pitch on Saturday!