August 11, 2015 
sharon 
I spent my summer vacation this year in Michigan celebrating my sister’s wedding, and I got to hear a lot of behind-the-scenes stories of how she and her fiancé met and fell in love. They’ve known each other for years because she is good friends with his sisters, and he was interested in her for a looooong time before she returned his affection. His sisters told me all the hilarious stories of him talking about her dreamy-eyed at the dinner table, looking for excuses to go to the bagel shop where she worked, treating everyone to baseball games and movies just so she’d come along and he could spend time with her. He was undiscouragable! And eventually, his persistence drew her attention to his kindness and funniness…and he won her heart.
I’m not just gossiping about my little family excitement – these stories about my new brother-in-law reminded me of the road a lot of writers travel on their way to finding an agent. When you’re an aspiring author, you want to be published so badly. It’s all you can think about. Your loved ones get tired of you talking about it morning, noon, and night – maybe they even tease you about how obsessed you are, or how outrageous your dream is. You write, revise, and revise again, go to workshops and writing groups, send your manuscript out to agent after agent after agent. You get a few requests, then heartbreaking “not for me”s. It’s so discouraging.
Don’t give up! Visit the How-I-Got-My-Agent stories on any blog or writing forum and you’ll find that many represented writers went through months or years of disappointing responses before finding the agent that was right for them. Many writers got their agent with the second or third (or more!) manuscript that made the rounds. For example, my client Rena Olsen wrote very frankly about the years of self-doubt and disappointment before she signed with me. And a writer pal of hers pulled together this informal poll on when authors got published – the numbers are fairly evenly split, with only 16% debuting with the first MS they wrote.
So keep at it! Keep writing, keep reading, keep researching, keep querying – that’s what it takes. And it will be a great story to tell when you finally win an agent’s heart.
What success stories inspire you when you get discouraged about your writing? What are your best #persistence tips?
Rejection can definitely sting – but at the end of the day, the agent *has* to be crazy about your book, otherwise there’s no point.
I had two agents here at Dystel consider my manuscript very closely, but ultimately it didn’t make the cut. It just makes me more determined to get out there, right that killer novel that cannot be refused.Until then, back to the storyboard!
– Jeremy
That’s the spirit, Jeremy! All the best to you and your quest!
Love your family story! That worked for my husband, too, and that was over 20 years ago. Wishing the same for your sister and bro-in-law. I like to practice “enlightened persistence” and I have to say it has never failed me. Currently, I am so happy to be part of the D & G family. An agent may not be the “sure thing” every author hopes for, but the fact that someone at this level is willing to partner with you gives one confidence and hope, and the “best eyes” on. I always have another project or two at the ready.
great point, LIsa – even repped, published authors need persistence. I love the phrase “enlightened persistence” you used, because it’s not just refusing to take “no” for an answer. you need to pay attention to the “whys” of the nos you’re getting!
Thanks, Sharon. I forget where I first heard that phrase, but I have always embraced it. Yes. A project is not static, either. It can be retitled, renewed, revamped and re-queried. If you believe in a project, and you have done the hard work, someone will come to believe in it, too. Timing is important, also. It is important to always have a few projects \\”out there\\” as well. I can never run out of subject matter or ideas for a new book or Proposal!
Hey, you published this on the same day you sent my rej… Never mind. I have a sense of humor. (And I\\’m sure the two are completely unrelated.)Persistence. Yes. Growth, change, revision. Yes. Get the right words in front of the right people at the right time. Yes. And a healthy dose of luck.Take yourself too seriously. No. Take rejection personally. No. Give up. No.I\\’m glad he got the girl.Tracey
Interesting \”survey\”.I\’m wondering: if these folks wrote three books before getting the fourth one published, did any of the first three EVER get published?Are the initial books \”practice\” for the one that makes it? Or is the successful one just the right combo of topic and timing?
Hi DC, great question! I can answer in part, though I don’t know the details of the authors who participated in the survey. Initial books often are “practice” – you learn more about storytelling, dialogue, character development, etc., with each book you write, especially if you’re getting feedback on your work from writing partners, workshops, even the querying process. So sometimes your first 1 (or 2 or 3) manuscripts simply aren’t ready. You’ll see even with successful authors a lot of growth between their first published book and their later ones! And often the first books never do get published because the author realizes they aren’t good enough. They want to spend their energy writing a new book rather than fixing an early incomplete or immature one.
But the right combo of topic and timing almost always comes into it, too. Your category might be the next big thing editors (and thus agents) are dying for in two years. Or your perfect agent might not be signing up new clients right now, or might not have added your category to her wishlist yet.
That’s why you have to keep working, reading, researching, listening – so when timing swings your way, you have the best possible manuscript ready for it.