I just wanted to say thanks for the great contest! My entry was the "Okay but classic problem". I remember I posted my first line without reading the others only to be dismayed when I DID read the comments and saw how amazing everyone's first lines were. I knew mines was too simple, plain, and boring. I actually didn't even check back at the results because I knew I didn't have a chance.

So the point of this is just to say a big thanks to you! You've definitely perked up my week!

Jenn

Besides, it's more fun being the black sheep anyway

One that nobody mentioned that intrigued me: "He awoke in the dark to the screams again. His hands were automatic spiders for the gun."

"Sixteen years ago I left Balmer, Alabama as a black boy. I return today as a white man."
(I'm hooked. How does a black boy become a white man and why would he want to return to Alabama? No offense to anyone living in Alabama!)

"Jocelyn stared at the guy sitting across the table from her, wondering how he’d react later – when he was drowning."
(How does she know that he'll be drowning later and why? It got my interest.)

"I never wanted my wedding performed by an Elvis impersonator, yet I found myself standing beside my fiancé and looking at the King."
(I like the "voice" here and the irony of the situation; sometimes you get exactly what you don't want!)

"The longest journey of my life began with an argument about chips."
(So true! How many times does something that seems so insignificant becomes a major turning point in one's life? I'll read on.)

"Catalina Flores de la Peña's tongue got her in more trouble than any other part of her body, even though there were far more likely candidates."
(I like that it's so descriptive without putting it all down in words. Great name, you just know that this woman is trouble, and yes, I want to know more.)

"In the many millennia Gabe had spent watching over his mortal charges, not once had he ever thought of breaking the rules."
(It brings to mind "City of Angels" a film I love so I'm intrigued by the subtlety of what may make Gabe think of breaking the rules.)

"It was all fun and games, until Ashley fell over the cliff."
(Yep, that will end the fun and games, but now what? How did she fall, was she pushed? Does she survive….is she hanging to a tree limb? I'm interested.)

2) This comes across as … not vague so much as tempting. Again, makes me curious. My only quibble is that when I read the sentence, my brain wants to fill in an "it" at the end, which probably changes the meaning!

3) I'm with Jim on this one. Love it. "Or something" fits with "pretty sure" for a casual voice. I want to know more about this character, who capitalizes "Catholic" but not "pagan" or "baptist," and I want to know how her sister got a Catholic funeral if she committed suicide!

4) I love the language play here – the fake-Latin, and then the "to which." The character is sharp and snarkish, and I like that a lot.

5) Absolutely disagree. I love that the sentence starts out in such an ordinary way and gets progressively more zany. This is the one that made me lol! I love the names, I love the voice.

6) I feel like it should be Hakebourne. (Maybe I should quit reading Ludlum? *g*) I am immediately curious about who would say this and why.

7) This makes me wonder two things: what kind of thing is this? and the front desk of what?

8) LOVE this one. Love the brash, confident voice, love the semicolon. Love the setup: she's had other women's husbands, but never one of her own.

9) I like "left-coast." Is it that common to say "left coast" instead of "west coast?" The sentence seems a bit passive, but Thomas Buttermore is definitely a memorable name. A writer who can come up with that, and with "Twinkies and white guilt," has got my attention for at least a little bit more.

Jimi Hendrix had a lot of explaining to do. (How do we get the dead to explain something?)

"Mary Kate Stewart secretly hoped that her Calculus teacher would get hit by a taco truck." (the absurdity and alliteration of a taco truck, although strike "that")

I've finally figured out my problem: All these years I've wanted – expected – a full moon, every single night." (a romantic idea, a thoughtful protagonist)

"Perhaps the hissing should have tipped me off, but honestly, life so far hadn’t prepared me for feral desk accessories." (funny, unexpected)

"Salt. He tasted like salt." (two lines technically but so was one of yours; intriguing – what is the person doing)

"What size boots you wear?" the old man hacked as he led Nick through the open-air morgue, his hand already hovering close to the feet of the nearest corpse. (irreverant, like the tombstone one mentioned earlier but the protagonist is more sympathetic than one who does the actual kicking)

Zahra could smell the old ndovu, a great pachyderm; for three suns now, she’d tracked him. (Nice names and unusual word! I search out the dictionary.)

"I pressed my shoulders into a wooden armchair in Mrs. Wintour’s antechamber, clasping my hands together so they would not tremble with cold and anxiety." (strong tension and mood)

I swallowed my Altoid the moment the rebel hottie across the reading room drew his attention away from his book and busted me staring at him.
(the addition of Altoid and rebel make the classic situation more unique)

My vote for best of your top nine went to "Captain Stupendous fan club" without a doubt. My runner-up was the 'five husbands' line.

Great contest and very entertaining reading overall.

I was personally intrigued by this line:
"A lot of people still think I'm a terrible person because I didn't call the police right away."

I'm a sucker for horrible events and I want to know what horrible thing happened and just exactly why did they not call the police right away?