Comments on: Lauren’s Slush Week entry

By: Wanda B. Ontheshelves

Wanda B. Ontheshelves — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:53:01 +0000

Just jumping in here to say, thanks for doing slush week, very informative, and plenty to mull over re: my own queries.

By: Alli

Alli — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:30:40 +0000

Four for Bloomies! That made me laugh and was the turning point – it got me hooked and endeared the character to me. I would definitely read this. Good luck, author!

By: Debra Driza

Debra Driza — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 18:28:23 +0000

I liked the Bloomie's line, too. A lot of successful paranormnal/UF out there is pretty humorous, and this shows me the author has the knack.

Just my two cents.

By: Tara

Tara — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 01:08:45 +0000

Two for Bloomingdale's! The point [i]is[/i] that it's trivial and that the character's not living up to her potential. That was the line that made me sit up and pay attention, too.

By: GhostFolk.com

GhostFolk.com — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:41:33 +0000

One for Bloomingdales. One not. Interesting.

By: Writer and Cat

Writer and Cat — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 01:46:21 +0000

Thank you for taking the time to share your responses to these letters with your visitors. It's very interesting and helpful!

By: Jen

Jen — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 00:41:59 +0000

I like this query and the concept. However, I would take out the "Bloomindale bargains" part. It lends a trivial nature to a story that is high stakes. I would put "bending spoons in her mind" in the beginning. It justifies her being sought out like she is some MIT grad and not scanning shoes.

This reminds me of the Firm in some way. Interested to see what they agents say!