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An Immodest Proposal

My life changed forever when I came across this little piece.

Of course! It all clicked into place with this helpful little checklist.

Do I have a tendency to overanalyze things? You betcha!

Do new places and experiences give me anxiety? Uhuh.

Are my expectations too high? I’ll answer that question with one of my own. What’s wrong with holding out for that someone special who has the body of a supermodel and personality of a saint halfway through canonization, but, you know, who is still living?

Has it been said that I like neat resolutions? Well, sure. I mean, who doesn’t? The “How I Met Your Mother” series finale sent me into an absolute tailspin last night. How could they do that with

***SPOILER ALERT***

The next thing I knew it was 2 am and I was outside and cold and had apparently wandered into traffic. And I don’t even watch “How I Met Your Mother.”

How could it be, you ask, that someone as amazing as me has had a few dating problems? Simple: I’m a book lover.

Does any of this sound familiar? Has reading ruined your life or storytelling given you unrealistic expectations and the inability to cope with loose ends?

Then, for our own well being, I prescribe that we stop reading, starting now.

THE END

(Afterword for those still reading despite my proposal: if this doesn’t work we may have to eat our children. Let’s call that Plan B.)

One Response to An Immodest Proposal

  1. D.C. DaCosta says:

    I’m not dateless because I read. I’m dateless because I write.
    And I need to get out more.

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