Oldie but a goodie

It’s chilly and really windy here in LA–my first experience with Santa Ana winds! Judgment passed: I do not like them. That my power has gone out, albeit quite briefly, at least four times is a little frustrating.  The weather and general moodiness in the air had me feeling a bit somber today, so I was quite pleased when my client Bryan Bliss tweeted this link to the worst of Dan Brown’s writing from a couple of years ago. Oh, was it ever what I needed.

Not to say that Dan Brown doesn’t have any talent, because he clearly does. His books sell by the boatload, and they’ve inspired hit films and numerous copycats. But he’s not really a master of the English language. In fact, his lack of English mastery, for me at least, is part of what I enjoy about his work. I’ll let you read the list and find your, but my favorite gem is: Overhanging her precarious body was a jaundiced face whose skin resembled a sheet of parchment paper punctured by two emotionless eyes.

Am I the only one who loves reading bad writing?

6 Responses to Oldie but a goodie

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wait until you experience the really dry Santa Ana winds. You’ll feel like your eyeballs have been roughed up by sandpaper.

    Bad writing is a guilty pleasure. Sometimes it’s just fun to laugh at it, and I suspect more of us than will admit like to peruse it from time to time to feel better about our own work. Once a friend and I wrote a novel as poorly as we could to try to force away some bad writing habits; it was painful to read and write, but effective and has remained a source of humor between us for years.

  2. Argh, that last comment was me!

  3. Anon says:

    I love passive aggressive snark, too.

  4. Bryan says:

    I have arrived. Mentioned in the blog!

  5. Gilbert J. Avila says:

    You want bad writing? Try reading the atrocious fantasy “The Eye of Argon” aloud. The object is to read it as long as you can before collapsing in unbridled mirth. No where else will you find a wench’s nose described as”opaque.”

  6. There are times when bad writing and good whisky make for a fabulous evening. My guilty pleasure? Regency romances. Something about that time period inspires the most deliciously appalling, unerringly disastrous prose. A Regency romance and a tot of Ardbegh or The Macallan is a recipe for gleeful snarkage.

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