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Headlining

As loyal followers of this blog know, I am a little headlines obsessed.  Usually, this takes the form of scanning 1,237 blogs and websites every day before our 8:30 meeting without actually reading a single article (you can learn so much from the right caption).  Sometimes, it manifests as trying to come up with the proper headline for an everyday occurrence which is just weird or eyebrow raising enough to merit column inches in The New York Post.  But occasionally, the right headline makes me think, “Ooh, what a great novel could be built around ’44-Year-Old UK Man Lives Off Road Kill for 30 Years’” (true story).

So, here’s the gray, drizzly Wednesday challenge:  Pick a headline from today’s crazy roster—The HuffPost on Blagojevich’s sentencing is “Big Hair to the Big House.”  Positively Postian, no?—on the blogosphere and give us a paragraph on what the book you’d write based on it would be.

(You need to tell us what the headline is and where it came from for authentication purposes. First prize is a cookbook by one of our lovely and talented authors.)

5 Responses to Headlining

  1. Tamara says:

    “Casper man picks kids up from school after drinking”

    http://trib.com/news/local/casper/casper-man-picks-kids-up-from-school-after-drinking/article_153ec507-be9a-52d6-b010-993cef50084a.html#ixzz1fshe9ZZQ

    Dwight has a problem. It’s not that he spends his days and his wife’s money swilling amaretto sours at Dud’s Elephant Suds. It’s not that every day he drives his calf-faced daughter Rae Jr. home so drunk he knocks over mail boxes and delineator poles. It’s not even that he got caught by the police doing just that. No. His problem is that his great grandmother had sex with an alien, which burdens Dwight with the knowledge that he is Star-Seed, a new breed of savoir, a chosen one who will usher in the next phase in the evolution of our earth-bound species.

  2. Sarah Henson says:

    “Teen mob overruns NY cops; firefighters to rescue with ‘deluge’ water cannon…” (Drudge Report headline. Here is the link to the actual article, which is worded a bit different but still works I think: http://www.silive.com/northshore/index.ssf/2011/12/9_arrests_in_staten_island_inc.html)

    Seventeen-year-old Courtney used to enjoy choreographing flash mobs. Showing up at the mall or park with a group of other teenagers to sporadically break into song and dance seemed like innocent fun. But the musical numbers had a darker purpose than Courtney ever imagined. Now she finds herself swept up in a diabolical plot to overthrow the government through well orchestrated, nationwide teenage flash mobs designed not for spreading cheer, but for wreaking havoc. And Courtney’s choreographing skills stuck her at the helm of it all. In the best position to unravel the entire operation, Courtney decides to play along, but as she searches for the person pulling the strings, she discovers exactly how deadly the mobs will be. She has to find the mastermind before her deception is revealed, or timing high kicks will be the least of her worries.

  3. Lance Parkin says:

    ‘eBay Bans Date With Virgin Mary’

    No idea what the story is, all I know is it can’t possibly live up to the headline.

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3981658/eBay-bans-date-with-Virgin-Mary.html

    Although as the prize is cookery related, perhaps:

    ‘ “I’ve never done double entendre in my life”: says a caramel-covered Nigella Lawson’

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2071094/Nigella-Lawson-dripping-caramel-claims-intentions-purely-innocent.html

  4. Very fantastic visual appeal on this web site , I’d rate it 10 10.

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